The truth is that this life is a lot of things and it is a MESS. A lot of things that are not always pleasant. Whether it’s having a bad day or a bad week or just a freaking bad moment. We have some really bad times between all those beautiful ones.
Recently, I’ve had to question the point of it all. We wake up happy and maybe excited on some days and angry or sad on others. What’s the point of it all? Why waste your time anyways when you’re going to die.
Sometimes the wave of anger won’t just let go of you and then other times, you can’t stop crying. Oh let’s not forget the extremely happy moments that’ll raise eyebrows and cause others to spite you a little because “you’re a little too jumpy today”.
Am I supposed to contain all these emotions and pretend like I have one face? Shouldn’t I be allowed to show anger or fear or sadness just like I can show happiness? Why is it so difficult for everybody to just accept all the parts of a person whether it’s good or bad?
This whole thing is a mess. It’s a BIG MESS!
There’s the friends that are there for the happiest moments and you’re grateful for them and then there’s some of them that could never understand your gloomy days because well… it’s not their thing.
There’s always that person that’ll know the perfect thing to do when you’re mad or sad or just depressed and more often than not, that person might not even be the same every time you go through these things.
You have turn up folks and they don’t want to turn up every time and then you have your real serious folks – the ones you talk about the future with and sometimes they’re too busy to even talk
Don’t get me started on the moments when you can’t even decide what it is that you feel. I don’t even want to talk about the times that you’ll wake up with an anxiety attack and you’ll try to go to sleep but it won’t work because for some messed up reason, you can’t control your breathing.
Ever woken up with this really huge smile on your face and it feels like the world has been taken over by a sad demon. Every other person around you has a gloomy look – and I mean EVERYONE.
Why can’t we just all feel the same? WHY?
It’s a mix of feelings and sometime all of them in one and maybe none at all. Ever feel like being NUMB? OH SHOOT! Those are the really annoying days.
You don’t feel like feeling. How can you not feel like feeling? Is that even a thing? You just want to sit and do or feel nothing. There’s nothing particular you want to think about and yet there are things.
You really don’t want to have a bad day and then have a cherry on top like “someone you know died”. AHHH I really hate these days. Like why? As if my day is not bad enough? Someone has to die to crown it all?
And then you wake up tomorrow and someone had a baby. in you’re head you’re thinking “maybe life doesn’t suck that much.”
But do you want to know something? LIFE IS A MESS. A BEAUTIFUL MESS.
Be happy when you are and be sad when you are. Allow yourself to feel the mess. All of it. Every single part of this messy world. Be totally involved in it. Be afraid and be bold. Cry and vent. Be everything you feel and you are. Be ALL – BE YOU!