It’s been months and no piece from me.
Nothing that seems like mine.
The last time I wrote, they were letters,
letters blurting out how I felt love in my heart.
I never write of love, only hurt.
I never write with smiles, only anger and pain.
Was I becoming jolly or masking it all in smiles?
No! That wasn’t possible.
I was good at writing in pain
behind my happy mask.
I have changed.
I am different.
I wake up smiling.
I greet the sun, the bathroom,
the pillows and the Lord.
I greet them all with lips wider than I’ve ever known.
I’m excited at the discoveries of a new dawn
On most days, I am grateful for life and another fresh start.
I am grateful for a chance to right my wrongs.
A chance to live and laugh again.
A chance to meet someone new.
To hear something different.
A chance to feel something beautiful.
I got so used to writing only in pain
that I could not think or imagine it any other way.
I only knew my dark side.
I only knew the tears on my keyboard
and notepads leaving the pages blurred out.
My creativity only flowed when my heart bled.
My joy never got a chance to shine
because it never met my pen.
It sat in the alley and let the sadness take the limelight.
I am still learning to express my happy heart.
To put my pen down and let my notepad experience excitement.
I am still learning to embrace this light and life.
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